pursuitofcappiness | psl for @nonstopnarcissist

psl for @nonstopnarcissist

`Honestly, a fix-it`

Captain Dad and Iron Mom work through some problems, don't get a divorce, hopefully? Continued from here.

[ The compound is decorated beautifully, but under the glossy exterior, there's a lot of stress going on. Some of the others have taken to writing essays to petition for Wanda's permanent residency, and yet, some of the others have been reading through and jotting down notes on the Accords draft.

Steve, too, does that whenever there's no news on Bucky, which has been both little and far in between, considering his status as Winter Soldier. It's a lot easier to channel all his frustrations into the legislation, which he finds both too vague and poorly-designed, taking away agency from pretty much anyone who might obtain powers or invent new technology.

There's already robust laws in place both for vigilanteism and for new weaponry, as far as Steve's concerned, so he thinks that the scope needs to be written to be narrowed down to just card-carrying superhero teams like the Avengers, and even then, he's still got a lot of edits he'd like to make. And, though this is much more of a job for a real lawyer and they're looking into it, Steve's got a lot of his own opinions.

Sometimes, he writes up in his office, but more often than not these days, he takes up residence down in Tony's lab because it helps him think when he can run something by Tony and when Dum-E and U are whirring away in the background. And as the anniversary draws nearer and nearer, he doesn't like the idea of Tony being all by himself all the time.

He's sent off a draft to be combed through by the lawyers first, so today he's got no reason to be down at the lab, but he's outside knocking anyway, with a tray of food, and more importantly, coffee. He has also seemingly forgotten that he's wearing a santa hat. ]

[ Delegation, research, and red tape. This was the part of managing an empire he never really cared for, it's why he handed SI off to Pepper who's better at it, why he let Fury handle things until it became obvious that was half the fucking problem, why he let Obie hold the keys to the kingdom for years.

SI's doing well but the Avengers, what they need to be to stand up against what he saw past the wormhole?

They need to be better. Do better. Be accountable and transparent within reason, and be able to do what they do best without stomping all over borders and local laws. Handling Hydra was, is, one thing, but facing off against the UN slowly pulling together what they think is an appropriate response?

Migraine city.

It's phonecall after email after phonecall, digging through old records on various projects for precedent, digging through his own hearing when he first started kicking around as Iron Man for more recent precedent, and delegating everything he feels safe enough to have out of his hands- which is more than he'd like but he literally cannot do everything on his own without running himself into the ground.

Ten minutes. He'll give himself ten minutes to just. Close his eyes and breathe in the relative quiet of the lab when Steve knocks- the only one that does, and the sound prompts a faint smile. Friday lets him in and plays a little tune- Star Spangled Man in jingle bells because she's developing a sense of humor. ]

I thought you sent off the last batch, Captain Dad- [ It's just them, it's safe to say as he cracks an eye open to take in the entirety of Steve looking- well. Soft, warm and approachable, santa hat included. Whoever keeps putting him in these sweaters deserves a raise, really. ] That for me?

[ Truth be told, since Tony's running the brunt of this operation, Steve hasn't had to field any phone calls or take any PR nightmares, mostly conversing with the lawyers. He thinks that maybe Ross is avoiding him on purpose, and if that's the case, then he's still not sure how he wants to interpret that. All he knows is that Ross isn't his biggest fan, but the feeling's mutual, considering that Steve still thinks this is half to advance Ross's political career and half an attempt to get his hands on where he thinks they're hiding Bruce.

It's tiring, but thankfully due to the holidays, Steve's in good spirits, and he did in fact, go get his sweaters tailored with Tony's tailor - the turnaround time of which is breakneck fast, possibly because Tony's extremely important clientele, but honestly Steve thinks the guy also really likes to come marvel at Steve's figure, since he's always commenting on it. ]

I didn't come to talk shop, Iron Mom.

[ On the one hand, Steve kind of can't believe that they're still using these nicknames with each other - but on the other, it's sweet, and he's pretty sure that he's holding onto all these nice little moments for as long as he physically can. ]

If you want later, Wanda made cookies and the others are gonna take a break and decorate them as soon as they're cool.

[ He places the plate down for Tony and then stands against one of the desks, arms crossed over his chest. He knows Tony's being overworked and this whole thing's set back their little Disney vacation. He thinks if they're lucky, they might get to push it back to May. And Tony really, really needs a vacation. They all do. ]

And if you don't, you should take a break anyway.

[ Steve comes back over, and rests a solid, steady hand on Tony's shoulder. ]

That sounds disgustingly domestic and homey. I'm in.

[ Without missing a beat- this is only going to work if he takes what olive branches are extended, if they work together, if he works on himself. Transparency isn't something he's good at, a multilayered roulette of masks and reflexive bad habits brought on from a lifetime of not having anyone he could, bone deep, zero hesitation trust aside from Rhodey, Pepper, and Happy-

And there's the uncomfortable detail that those three kind of work for him.

But it's worth putting in the effort. Worth doing the work because if this is going to work, longterm? He needs to give a little.

Trust a little. ]

I was going to come up in...how long is the decryption running? Ten, fifteen minutes, but this is as good a reason as any to take a breather. [ As if the way he lists and slumps into Steven's hand isn't sign enough. ] Good news is, Nat and I are pretty sure we found where Ross has been hiding the worst of his bullshit and are working on legally obtaining access so we can get him arrested like he should've been a decade ago.

[ Tony reaches up, patting Steve's hand as his smile widens- it's not a PR grin, something small and sincere. ]

That's hurdle one. It'll also do half the work on getting Wanda's situation settled, he's a big blocker on that.

[ Technically, Steve works for Tony too, but only in the way that since SHIELD, Tony signs his paychecks. He thinks himself more of a free agent, and if it helps him any, he'd been around a whole lot longer than Tony had, a whole fifty years or so longer. ]

It'll take you that long to eat. And FRIDAY can always just send you the results if they're something that needs to be looked at right away, right FRI?

[ That was another thing that's changed - Steve calls her FRI sometimes now, a cute little nickname. He'd always been more formal, and he'd never gotten around to calling Jarvis "J", but he figured by the time that FRIDAY had started playing his personal theme song but with a Christmas cover on it every time he showed up, that he too, could consider her a friend as he does with anyone else. ]

Good, and I figured he had something to do with that. You know I disagree with all of his politics, and I just can't understand how he managed to put all the blame on Dr. Banner.

[ Lucky that the Avengers are more or less beloved, and the people have come around to accepting Hulk as part of the team, and not some sort of monster to tell tales of to scare children. But then again, that might be why Ross has taken such a particular interest in pushing through the Accords. Steve honestly thinks Ross would've done so under his nose if he'd been able to. ]

You know, you could delegate a little to the rest of us.

[ He says, now noticing how tired Tony seems. It's not that Steve wants to take on more work, but he knows that this isn't Tony's favorite thing to do, and it's running him ragged. There's not a lot of slack to pick up, but they can share a little extra load. At least, Steve can take some, or cheer Tony up in other ways. ]

Or, we could all find other ways to lighten your load.

Can do, Captain Dad!

[ Friday offers in her cheerful brogue, prompting a quiet snort from Tony. It's something of a relief to have Friday get on with everyone; teaching Jarvis to be personal took some time that they don't really have to spare, here. But his youngest keeps on with a sunny, helpful disposition and that's the kind of positive energy everyone needs while they wade through the mess that's coming at them. ]

The one good thing he has going for him is he's not Hydra- which is a bar you can dig six feet down and walk over.

[ Tony gestures, moving the holographic displays he'd been staring at off to the side, minimizing them so he can focus on the tray Steve brought him. Light, easy food which is better for his questionable appetite and stomach when he's working, and it's touching that Steve's noticed.

He's not the only one putting in the effort, it looks like. ]

Honestly, I'm helping Nat more than the other way around on this one, and Rhodey's pulling a lot of weight on talking around the other generals, trying to find a replacement that's more likely to compromise and work with us. As soon as Wanda's visa is sorted we can have her do more research into other enhanced like her, advocate for their protection, maybe talk about her experiences with Hydra.

[ He tugs on Steve's sleeve, nodding to the other rolling stool. ]

Honestly? You've all been doing plenty. There's just a lot to get through, but we're frontloading the work. Soon as this gets sorted? It'll be a whole lot easier.

[ Of course Steve notices things like this, because he used to be bedridden a lot of days in his youth and nothing was worse than being stuck inside with nothing to do and nothing good to eat to look forward to. So things like allergies and medications and comfort food preferences - he takes stock of all of it, for everyone.

He takes a seat on the rolling stool, and steals a piece of celery off of Tony's plate. If he misses it, he can go upstairs and get some more. ]

I hope you're right. I don't think this amount of work is sustainable, but definitely not while you're trying to do ten other things.

[ Like save the world and invent four different new things by breakfast. Good thing that Pepper's also decided to put Tony in a do-not-disturb mode, and has been pulling him into way fewer urgent meetings. But that was Tony: always busy, always with someone needing him in one way or another.

Lately, in quiet moments - usually as he's about to fall asleep - Steve's been indulging in the thought that maybe Tony could let himself be taken care of a little, for someone to lay blankets on him when he falls asleep and rub his shoulders because he's been hunched over a workbench too long. But during the daytime, Steve pushes away all those thoughts, as intrusive as they're growing to be - the kiss had meant nothing to Tony, and they were both so inundated with other things that now wasn't even a good time to entertain the idea. ]

But you let me know if there's anything I can do for you.

[ He feels better, that the offer's on the table, even though he knows Tony would rather bottle everything up than admit that he'd like help, or even just a hug. ]

I know you said I'm the boss, but I can't do it without you. And most of us are all the others have got, you know. We're all family.

If, after we get him out and things don't change? I'm gonna start hiring people and handing things off. Short term I can manage, kind of.

[ And being honest with himself about it is-

well it's a sign of growth. Wanting to handle everything is rational, but he physically can't manage every aspect of what needs covering. Focusing in on what he can do the most for or stepping back to manage the overall picture is doable, not both.

Thoughts for later as he works away at his plate, massaging the back of his neck as he chews idly and breathes instead of poking away at the next leg of a problem. His mind still races, sure, but actively feeding into that hasn't helped in decades, continuing on that path is only going to burn him out. Relaxing.

Slowing down.

It's not really something he can do easily but when Steve's around? The energy under his skin itches a little bit less, his thoughts don't rattle around like a single bullet in a carton of ammo. ]

Honestly Steve this? Helps a lot. Reminding me to breathe, to eat, to not hole up down here like a hermit. Company.

[ He tilts his leg sideways enough to nudge his knee against Steve's thigh, opening his eyes to flash him a tired smile. ]

I'm almost sorry you're stuck playing mother hen, here.

[ It's not a great solution, and the look on Steve's face says very well that he doesn't like it, but it's Tony's decision and it's the best idea they've got because the other one is that Steve has to go in and deal with Ross and he's not sure that's going to result in anything productive.

At the very least, Tony stays and yells it out. Steve just walks away when negotiations don't go well.

But then, Tony's admission makes Steve's face soften a little, as he scoots in closer, as he gestures for Tony to turn a bit so he can take over rubbing out the knots in his neck because even if Tony's just idly doing it, Steve knows by his posture that he must have a few cricks in there. ]

If we're being honest here, I like having the company, too. I like having someone else around I can springboard ideas off of, and to have an excuse to get up to make coffee for.

[ He doesn't say that Tony's easy on the eyes, but he is. And he doesn't want to say Tony's kind of a nightmare when he's over-stressed, but that's true too. They both are, and in the worst ways, clashing with each other. After Steve had told Tony about Bucky's dossier, things had seemed hopeless for a little bit, but he likes to think their friendship is stronger than it's ever been now. He thinks maybe they could navigate through the worst, now that they understand each other a little better. ]

Guess that means I'm stuck with you a little longer. Don't tell the others I give massages though, I don't want to make that a thing.

[ A few bites more and he's mostly done- the meal's light because it's all he can really manage easily when he's working this hard on paperwork. Engineering binges, remodeling, rebuilding? He can mainline anything and everything from coffee and spite to a full pizza, but paperwork and politics give him an ulcer. So. Light food.

Rabbit food.

He could push away from the workbench and get back to it but he's curious as to what Steve's after, and reasonably sure it'll be funny if nothing else, so he turns. Two good presses and kneads in and he's melting back against Steven's hands, all his tension slipping out of him in a long sigh. ]

Should I get a drafting table set up for you in the corner? Give you a little bit more space?

[ Which is a declaration in and of itself, he doesn't make room in his workshop for anyone except maybe Rhodey, and that's grandfathered in from their time together at MIT. Bruce had his own lab when he'd been around, but Steve? Shares the sofa and makes nice with Dum-e and U, but doesn't have his own space.

He could.

if he wanted. ]

Mn, I am perfectly happy keeping your expertise for myself. They won't hear a peep out of me.

[ They're due back upstairs in a few minutes anyway, and while Tony may not want any cookies, he's welcome to decorate some and just to hang out with the rest. Steve thinks that's better for him anyway, knowing he has all these friends he can rely on when he's feeling lonely. Steve, who was utterly devastated to find that nearly all his friends seventy years on had passed, doesn't like the idea of Tony holing up all by himself, clearly.

And, it's rewarding for him to be offered a space down here, in Tony's lab. It feels more permanent, feels like he's being welcomed into Tony's private space. ]

Only if it's not too much trouble.

[ He keeps kneading away at Tony's neck and shoulders, trying to rub out some of his aches. And he knows Tony's got years' worth of them, and he never slows down enough to take care of himself, but Steve will try his hardest. ]

And it'll give the others more time to conspire against us.

[ He says, jokingly, because Steve's been spending a lot of time with Tony lately and he is so very close to realizing that he's the cause of the others gossiping, and but instead has chosen to believe that ever since the letters, the others are hatching some sort of plan without the two of them. ]

I'm still hoping it's a Christmas present. You know, Sam's taken to asking me about you every time I see him. Told him he could ask you himself.

No trouble at all.

[ Getting one down here would be a headache and a half, but machining one in the classic style of the 1940s with some modern touches for ergonomic practicality? Wouldn't be too hard. Get some hardwood in, dig up some old pieces from storage, it'll be easy enough, and more personal than buying something, ugh. ]

Let me know what all you'd like included, I'll give you a whole corner, it'll be just like college.

[ Sharing labspace with Rhodey at MIT is a treasured memory, there have been many jokes and inside stories shared over dinner since he joined the Avengers and Tony took a half step back to a more administrative role; but comparing the situation, offering Steve that same level of intimacy? Maybe he won't know what it means if Tony doesn't make a big deal about it. Maybe.

Little by little his tension eases until he's arching into every press with a sigh, half asleep where he sits. ]

I told him Redwing is almost ready, you can't rush AI development.

[ Especially not after Ultron, he's being careful. ]

[ At the rate Steve's going, he might cancel their plans to go upstairs for cookies, but that's just as well because the thing Tony needs more than social interaction is probably sleep. He might be a bit of a hermit, but he's still working off a sleep deficit from probably 1985. So if he falls asleep like this, he falls asleep. ]

Nothing fancy, just a desk. I'll move my papers down. Maybe you should get a couch, too, so you can take naps.

[ Which won't be very restorative sleep, but still might be better than Tony's current routine. And there's something rather domestic about getting to redecorate Tony's space, taking up a corner when Tony won't let just about anyone else in at all. Steve won't say anything about it because he thinks he's reading into it, but he does think maybe he's Tony's favorite. ]

And that's not what Sam means and you know it. He cares about you too, you know. We all do.

[ Tony looks so relaxed like this, and Steve recognizes how much trust that takes. He smiles fondly, pressing this thumbs into Tony's back, his hands warm and steady and solid. And he tries to ignore that when he sees Tony's face like this, calm and relaxed and contented like a cat in a warm window, he has to push his heart down from jumping directly into his throat. Tony looks so happy, and Steve will happily provide. ]

Sofa, minifridge, more natural lighting.

[ The reason he doesn't have a whole kitchenette in here is so he'll have to go up to the common levels to get real food, get some socialization in on the way. But...having a few more creature comforts for people that visit, for somewhere he can sack out between rounds of data compilation. It'd be better for his back at the very least. ]

Fri- make a note? An order, you know the drill.

[ She's learned on her feet, his girl, and he's endlessly proud of her- even if no small part of him aches for Jarvis still. ]

Yeah, I know, but it's easier to kind of accept that people find me useful than find me pleasant. Couple of decades worth of baggage that predate even you, Steve.

[ He reaches back over his shoulder, patting one of Steve's hands gently. ]

But I'm working on it. Come on, you keep this up I'll pass out. There's company and cookies to decorate upstairs, right?

[ There's something tooling at Steve's side with how easily Tony tells FRIDAY to spend all this money and effort to accommodate Steve into his own personal space that he's carved out amongst the rest of the Avengers, in the same breath that he says that he doesn't accept that people might just like him. ]

Yes, we're due for cookies.

[ So he lets Tony get away with most of the self-deprecation this time, and at least weasel out of getting some very enthusiastically voluntary tlc. He gets up and then offers Tony a hand too, in case he's finding it hard to get up from his spot. ]

And for what it's worth, Tony, you don't need to prove your use to me as a friend. I like you for you.

[ Maybe a little too much as he's learned lately, though he keeps trying to shove that in his own baggage, sitting on it proverbially, trying to get it to zip up. And with that said, he pads on upstairs to go select a good couple shapes for the two of them before they all get eaten.

It's very obvious to see which cookies belong to whom in the Avengers - Nat's are neat, monochrome, and focused on different icing textures. Wanda's are classic, with lots of reds and greens and sprinkles. Vision has followed suit, but his are just a little more perfectly-made in execution. Sam has apparently decided all cookies are just icing vehicles and piled it high.

They both get some looks as they stroll in together. ]

...try not to take it personal that I don't trust that immediately. It took Rhodey literal years. It really isn't you, it's me.

[ Rather it's a laundry list of names that Rhodey can and will provide Steve with for additional context, now that things are settled between them. If Steve's stepping up to be close with Tony? He should have some kind of roadmap- because he knows the guy's not gonna do the reading on his own. Not really.

Too classy for tabloids.

Tony's smile is sincere, though, and he leans into Steve's side as they walk to the little gathering of cookies and icing and he tries, he truly does try, not to snort too badly at Sam's heaping piles of color and sprinkles.

Rhodey's cookies aren't as picture perfect as Visions, but they're pretty well precise in their lines if somewhat monochromatic- ]

You are not making a set of War Machine cookies, Honeybadger, that's not-

[ Tony goes from leaning against Steve to leaning against Rhodey in a heartbeat, heckling him because he knows it's safe and comparing the curl of warmth in his chest as he does so. It's the same, right?

Right. So it doesn't mean anything. ]

Are you hiding the red and yellow frosting from me? I'm not going to do Iron Man Cookies, I have more than one trick, maybe I want to do Captain America cookies, huh?

[ A beat. ]

Or Scarlet Witch, the kids love Scarlet Witch.

[ He does try not to take it personally that Tony purportedly doesn't trust him because Tony's leaning against him and Tony took his scarf and Tony let Steve into his lab and is making room for him there. And so, he can say he doesn't trust Steve but Steve doesn't buy it for a minute.

If he were slightly better at understanding interpersonal relationships of a romantic variety, he might have a lightbulb moment, but as it stands, he's woefully unaware that Tony might feel for him the way that he's starting to feel for Tony.

And, so, when Tony leaves his side and anchors onto Rhodey instead, Steve feels a little pang of jealousy that he tamps down because Rhodey is his best friend, and he has no reason to be jealous in any case, because Tony isn't even interested, and he's going to make a fool of himself if he reads into anything. ]

You can make Scarlet Witch ones with red, Tony. And the reason you don't have any blue is 'cause I'm hogging it, but you can have it when I'm finished.

[ Steve's cookies, even though he's just started on one, could actually be hung in a museum. It's precise, and illustrated - a wintry landscape that looks almost painted on as if by acrylic and not frosting. He's got a whole palette in front of him, and is actually using brushes, has extracts and water on the side for thinning his colors. ]

We could trade. I could do one of you next.

[ He says, absolutely ignoring how Sam rolls his eyes in the background and Wanda elbows him as if to tell him to knock it off. ]

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psl for @nonstopnarcissist

`Honestly, a fix-it`

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