pursuitofcappiness | inbox

[ And if someone from Middle Earth does show up here... she'll make sure, if she sees them first, to text Steve and tell him. Especially with that look he just gave her. It's endearing and encourages her to live in the nostalgic whimsy for a moment longer. ]

Yeah, it was really magical for the first few moments.

[ And then Umber had removed the patch and she'd kind of gone off the deep end. But, that wasn't a conversation for right now.

She smiles softly, sucking on her lower lip out of habit as she thinks it over. ]

I think there are some truths better left unsaid until everyone's ready. And some that are unavoidable. [ She knew there were kids here and as much as she'd like to be able to find a way to shield them from the horrors, protecting them from the truth wasn't going to stop the horrors from finding them. This place was different, though. It was darker and preyed on weakness like a three-course meal. ]

If there is, it probably won't be that easy to find. Some of the books are pretty garbled so if we were to come across it in the Library, I don't know that we'd recognize it right away.

[ It's more of a royal 'we', not that she'd turn down book hunting with Steve. She's been scouring plenty on her own, though. Slowly. Trying to build a personal catalog of the books with notes for the ones that are more garbled than others. ]

[ He enjoys this chat about literature, but the fact that she seems to know about the book interests him and steers him in a way that he can't ignore. ]

But maybe there's someone who can help look over them; there are so many people here from different backgrounds, maybe we just need more eyes on it. I might know a guy.

[ He might or might not be talking about The Hulk. But he thinks it would be rude to just namedrop someone that Julia clearly doesn't know, right? ]

I'll have to ask him if he's tried. He's a lot smarter than me.

[ Which isn't to say that Julia is not, but he currently is still under the impression that the two of them fit into the category of normal, or roughly fit anyway. Banner, on the other hand? Not remotely. He files that away for now, as he rips off more of the pastry and eats it. ]

[ She doesn't know him, the real him, well enough to dispute what he says about himself. Just taking a sip of her coffee as she watches him over the rim of her cup.

She wasn't quite as much of a social butterfly as Q, doubtful that she'd met whoever Steve was talking about, especially if it was someone from Steve's life at home. ]

That'd be nice, to have another set of eyes or at least another opinion. If you can send me his contact information or give him my name, I'd appreciate it.

[ She'd heard rumors about F.E.A.R. and knew if she did some digging, she'd probably hit a wealth of resources she had no idea about. But, there was also a commitment with F.E.A.R. and risks if things go wrong that she might not be ready for. Not so soon after her encounter with Sodder's Subconscious in Rapture.

Putting down the cup, she props an elbow on the table - resting her chin on her hand. ]

It'd be nice if this was something we didn't have to worry about.

Sure, I-- think I can do that with the device.

[ He pulls his out and knits his eyebrows before sending a contact card over to Julia with Bruce's name on it; if her device isn't on silent, it pings a second before he slots his back into his coat pocket.

He might be kind of a grandpa, but he did at least learn how to use one of these things. ]

I wish we didn't have to deal with any of this either, but... the sooner we figure this out, the sooner we get everyone back home who needs to be.

[ Steve hasn't decided, if the threats were gone with Deerington, whether or not he'll stay. He supposes right now it rests on Bucky - at home, Bucky's a mess, it'll take years before he's stable, and Steve's a fugitive. Even if time moves on now, the Avengers can handle threats without them.

And if time stands still outside, the way that it currently does, then he imagines a lot of people might stick around, at least a little while.

He's not fussed. ]

[ Her device pings from her purse, confirmation that she definitely got it. ]

Perfect, I'll reach out to him and see what we can brainstorm.

[ It wasn't her first time basically cold-calling someone because she was given a name and was pointed in a direction. She sighs, a bittersweet emotion washing over her at the idea of home. Home didn't have her best friend. Home had a string of its own messes, including them figuring out how the fuck to move the moon. Breaking off another piece of pastry, she pops it into her mouth and chews for a moment - debating how to respond. ]

It came up while we were in Rapture, a discussion for people to have the option to stay if they wanted. Once everything is fixed and we're given a choice in the matter. Being here is kind of a blessing of its own. I get to spend time with someone I'll never get to see again once I go home for good.

[ It feels like a big confession, almost a little worried she might scare him off with showing a little more vulnerability than she'd planned over coffee. But, it really felt like it was just them in the coffee shop, the rest of the world kind of tuned out around them. ]

[ He is really dumb when it comes to women, but Steve can read the lines between what Julia says and what she means. He's flattered, more than anything. And - it's true, he probably wouldn't have stopped to talk to her at home, and their social circles and lives would never have otherwise crossed.

It was serendipitous that they met, and pure chemistry that they keep meeting. He'll allow himself to admit that.

Yes, it really would be a shame that they wouldn't get to see each other, but-- ]

--Well, I wouldn't want to keep you from home. Maybe... there'd be a way to travel in between the dimensions.

Maybe I could even come visit your homeworld sometime.

[ If that isn't enough confession that he'd like to just retire and let the world carry on and do whatever the hell it wants with his legacy, then so be it. The world survived for seventy years without him, and it sure doesn't need him now - especially not if they have Tony back, or Bruce, or Thor. Whatever happened to him.

As long as Steve knows they're safe and they're where they belong, that's what matters. ]

[ He technically wasn’t wrong in his assumption, the guess going a happier direction than she’d originally intended. It’s enough to catch her off-guard, a rare blush creeping into cheeks. She was typically way more composed than this. Really.

The thought of being able to jump between dimensions appeals to her. They could create portals in their world between locations, could go to other planes of existence… Hm. ]

That actually seems feasible with the magic from my world, at least. There’d just have to be a way to stabilize it here so circumstances or a surge wouldn’t impact it and send someone off to a place they don’t want to be. [ There were so many pieces that went into a spell, it really could make things unpredictable and dangerous. And she wasn’t sure if there’d be rules placed on people who’d passed away in their own worlds to keep them from returning, that particular bit far beyond her understanding. Even if she’d like to throw a curveball at Hades and see how he likes her creating more chaos. There’s a pang of guilt over Persephone, even if she wasn’t the one in control, having to take a back seat to watch the horror show. She pushes that aside, though. Thinking it over with having Steve in her world. ]

I wouldn’t say no to you coming to visit. [ She leaves that open, meaning both here and in her own world. She doesn’t mention how much people might freak out if he just showed up, real and breathing in her world - that maybe it wouldn’t be the most relaxing retirement plan. ]

[ He hadn't even realized what he said and wonders about how pink she's getting, and then she mentions magic. Huh. That was definitely interesting - he assumes the two are related, which is a relief, because initially he was wondering if he'd said something wrong.

She doesn't carry on as if that's the case. ]

You're gonna have to work on the stabilization without me; I don't know the first thing about magic.

[ There was a time where he inherited Stephen Strange's powers, but he hadn't even known who he was at the time, so he wasn't aware of all the magic he had suddenly been able to do. ]

But if you figure it out, I promise I'll come to your world and see you.

[ What else does he have to do but run away from his own government at home, anyway? ]

I wouldn't say no to some company while I get frustrated at books and pieces of paper.

[ While she sometimes preferred to be a creature of solitude when it came to researching things, she never said no to company. Even if that company wasn't there to help her and had no idea what she was even doing. It was nice to be able to just ramble off a frustration that was going to make no sense to the other person and think out loud.

Smiling, she leans forward a little, propping her chin on her hand as she looks at him. ]

We could split the visiting time between our worlds.

[ She doesn't fess up with what she knows about him, but if he mentions it... She's got a few tricks up her sleeve to help him hide or disguise himself. ]

[ He should be feeling a little nervous that she wants to split time with him in their homes like this, it sounds... serious? He definitely wasn't expecting it, wouldn't expect it if she decided it wasn't a good idea after all.

But... he only feels comforted, and his smile is warm, if a little surprised. ]

I'm sure they're only gonna call me if they need me.

I'm... kinda in a bit of trouble back there.

[ He looks sheepishly about this; maybe he ought to tell her before things get any further that he's a wanted fugitive. Now he looks a little nervous, because all these plans? All this mountain of good they're building? It could just... dissipate. But she deserves to know. ]

[ An eyebrow arches as he makes the confession, not concerned - more intrigued. ]

Well, if you stick around in my world then for a little while, maybe I can help you. It's okay. I'm not going to judge you. [ Reaching forward to take his hand, her expression softens further. Trying to be more supportive than anything. ] Can I let you in on a little secret? [ Her voice drops to a whisper, to keep this between them as best she can. ]

Your story -- the story of your world is a fictional one in mine. It's okay. You're a good person with a good heart, Steve. Even if I had no idea about who you were, what you did on the ship for me is proof enough that whatever trouble you're in probably isn't your doing. Or isn't for a very good reason.

[ And to lighten things a little-- ] Besides, I'm a little harder to scare off. I can handle a bit of trouble.

Yeah, I... I figured.

[ He blinks. ]

About the fictional thing, I mean, a lot of people thought I was just an actor before the found me in the ice.

[ Sorry Julia, he still thinks that he's real, he's just, you know, still buried on your Earth somewhere in the ocean. He hadn't been aware she made the connection from his civilian name, but it's not like he's subtle? At least that makes that explanation easier. ]

They don't really tell you all of it, kinda just focus on the parts where I punch Hitler and kiss a lot of babies. But - yes, it's a good reason. At least, I think it is.

[ She has the right to decide that for herself. He takes a deep sigh. ]

People like me, and-- like you, too. The UN thought we needed regulating, passed a law so anyone with powers had to get registered. Everything we do gets shuffled behind red tape. And some of us? Get declared as weapons.

So we fought it, and we lost, and now I'm kinda in hiding. So I'm not in a hurry to go home.

I assumed as much. About the story not telling us everything.

[ And then he's saying more and she gets it. Unnervingly so. Strange how their worlds can have a parallel about some things and yet be so different. ]

Well, I'm not sure how much of a comfort it is, but I doubt we're going to be leaving here anytime soon. Gives us all time to figure things out and fix our problems at home.

[ And because he'd opened up a little, the least she can do is return the favor. ]

Something similar, on a different scale, was happening back home. Except they were killing a group of the people who were different rather than just creating a registry. We've made some pretty big steps towards fixing it... But, it's hard to stop something that was put into motion like that. It's going to be a long and annoyingly complicated path, I think. [ Like convincing the moon to move and saving the Hedge Witches from dying. It's fine. ]

So, I get it. In a way. No one should be declared a weapon or deemed too dangerous to be around other people or restricted from access to knowledge that could help them - especially not by bureaucrats of any kind. Political or educational.

[ Rationally, she understands that with the changed circumstances of the 40th timeline, she needed to not go to Brakebills, but that didn't ease the sting of everything else that followed. The dangerous path she went down craving the one thing she'd been denied -- information and education on her magic. She'd watched it destroy other people and the stolen information used as a tool for exploitation rather than enlightenment. It had been brutal and honest and it's own form of an education on why certain things should be accessible to everyone. ]

And definitely not by anyone who doesn't even... have a clue what it's like.

[ To be them, to be out there, to be doing what they have to do to keep the world safe. But this is a depressing topic of conversation. ]

But if you wanna come see my home, I'll... try to be a good tourguide.

[ They might just have to go undercover the old MCU route, by wearing glasses and a baseball cap. He doesn't mind it anymore, and he's kinda touched that Julia would even want to bother. After all, it's kind of just another Earth. Nothing terribly special about it, nothing as drastic as this place anyway. And all the people he'd want her to meet are already here.

But nonetheless, it's... sweet. He's used to distance, used to being on the job. Hell, the last girl he dated turned out to be an undercover SHIELD agent. He supposes he's just drawn to danger, to girls who can hold their own in a fight, who can give him shit when he needs to be knocked down a peg or two. ]

And hey, you made progress. That's more than I can say for us.

[ If Julia had a secret superpower, it would be making easy things serious. She was very good at it, more than a little rusty on how to have fun and just let go. A side effect of having to have her guard up for so long, that protective barrier always up just out of habit.

She smiles at his offer, though. She wouldn't mind walking around while undercover with him. Could be fun. ]

Well, lucky for you I used to live in Brooklyn so I know some of the general landmarks -- though, it'd be interesting to see how different our Brooklyns may be. [ Even just a difference in stores would be kind of crazy and interesting. ]

And we did, still have a long way to go, but all we can do is keep trying. Just give it time, I'm sure you guys will be able to navigate it all back home. [ If it was anything like the movies, even just the most basic of outlines. ]

[ He nods, and he gets it. He's usually the serious one, the one that everyone has to goad into lightening up. Even when he does crack jokes, it's with war buddies, his other Avengers. His sense of fun is old-fashioned, his sense of duty is paramount, and he has a hard time adjusting to civilian life, particularly when his other life keeps raring its ugly head waiting for him to show up with his suit and his shield.

But, he'll try. He wants to keep trying to be that guy, the Steve he was before the war, when getting beat up was just a fun activity and not something he did to preserve someone's honor or life or freedom, when having fun meant the same thing that everyone else's having fun meant. ]

--You guys get rainbow bagels in your Brooklyn?

[ It's. It's a baby step. ]

That was the big thing for awhile, and cronuts. Creepshakes-- no, freak shakes. Like, milkshakes, but with desserts all on top.

Yeah, those all definitely happened in my New York, too. Did you guys have the raindrop cake craze? Or the explosion of food trucks? Or when everyone was suddenly allergic to gluten?

[ Look, she's not saying gluten intolerance isn't a thing, but the sudden growth of people that were violently allergic to bread after their favorite food group used to be carbs is enough to make anyone side-eye it. Julia firmly believed in just saying whatever the fuck they wanted to say and not paint it in the level of bullshit the hoity-toity community - especially the ones her mother surrounded herself with - often did. ]

The bloody mary version of the freak shakes were also making a comeback last I checked. Like the ones with a cheeseburger on top and all the fixings.

[ She hasn't really had a chance to take the time to enjoy it all, considering everything going on. But, sometimes it was nice to try and at least stay in the loop so she didn't feel totally disconnected. ]

Yeah, we had all of that. Raindrop cake, which... it was okay, but not anything to write home about, and so many food trucks. Couldn't walk around two blocks without finding one, and hey, they had better food than a lot of the restaurants did.

I really don't know how people would've survived when I was a kid. Bread was one of the things we'd actually have around the house.

[ Bread, maybe some cheese, and vegetables growing in the backyard. It was a simple life, and not a great one, but one made richer by his parents doing the best they could.

Now... people were putting cheeseburgers on milkshakes. He's glad for the abundance of food and the creativity, but... lines need to be drawn somewhere. ]

I guess it's comforting to know that some things are a constant.

And that when I come to visit you, we can get real cheeseburgers. Not that stuff at the diner.

Something to prove that the restaurants didn't really have to when they opened their doors.

[ To change the mentality of food trucks, elevating them to a higher standard than a hotdog stand. Her expression softens as he opens up just a little bit about his childhood. Historically, she knew the era he'd come from had been rough on a lot of families. But, it was completely different hearing it come from someone who'd actually been there. Julia at her core was a fixer and she'd developed quite a bit more patience to be able to empathize without jumping into action, but she'd had a lot more practice than she could have ever hoped for in just her short lifetime. ]

People adapt. I think, presented with the same circumstances you faced in your childhood, a lot of people might find a way to flourish. And appreciate what they have when times are prosperous.

[ Julia finishes off one of the pastries, her smile growing at his last words. ]

Good. It's weird the little things I've missed since being stuck here. But, I look forward to it. [ Strange optimism was a specialty of hers, holding onto little things to help get through dark or uncertain times. It made it a little easier most days. ]

[ Steve had never really thought of himself as adaptive, but he'd also never really seen a reason to until he woke up from the ice, and then again, here. Things had... gone exponentially worse than when he was young, because at least with war, at least with the Captain America project, as he took his ups and downs, he understood everything. All the events had a logical beginning and a logical trajectory, and so, things were simple. But then seventy years later, it was like everyone operated on a completely different set of laws, like waking up on an alien planet.

And then he did wake up on an alien planet, that called itself Deerington, Maine. ]

People have a way of doing that, yeah.

[ Especially here, what with the whole world getting turned upside-down on a monthly basis. He supposes, then, that people have actually... managed quite well. After all, people don't think about home with a sense of sadness, but rather, as a goal. There's still a home to go back to. Maybe after all this, they might even let him drop himself off in 1945, but now... would he want that?

He hadn't really considered the possibility before, giving up the future, giving up fame and recognition. He'd wanted those things and gotten them and quickly realized they weren't things he'd cared about.

He supposes he has to give himself time to consider what it is he cares about. ]

What do you think the first thing you're going to do is, when you get back home?

Well, we have to move the moon. [ She says it like she's talking about the weather - casual and matter-of-fact. It'd be logistically impossible to find a way for Steve to visit if she no longer had a world to call home. ]

Hopefully, after that, I can just get a giant slice of pizza or something and just... take a minute. [ Because if they succeeded in moving the moon, they'd have a reason to celebrate. Beer, takeout of some kind, and laughter. That's what she was looking forward to. The weight of the fate of the world off of her shoulders for a little bit. Yeah, it wasn't her job to bear that burden, but her sense of obligation to it was hard to shake. Especially when being told to let it go. Usually had the opposite effect.

Fingers wrap around her almost-finished cup of coffee, head canting to the side slightly as she regards him. ]

What about you? Assuming everything works out with your situation. [ And assuming they remembered each other and either had a way to pass between the worlds or at least a way to come back to Deerington as they saw fit. ]

[ Okay, yeah, he's going to come back to that one in a second, Julia, don't think that he's going to just let that one slide. ]

I'm probably going to keep running. They've got a spot for me in Wakanda, but I don't want to get them in trouble with the UN.

[ And, as far as Julia probably knows, Wakanda is just a poor third-world nation in need of international assistance. No, he hasn't really given it any thought that Wakanda might not exist, or that Sokovia might not either. He hasn't exactly tried to find either of them on a map here. ]

And if they lift the accords and decide I'm not a wanted man, I'll probably go back to Brooklyn. I don't know, the Avengers kind of split, and it was more Tony's thing. He'll keep it running and I'll... find something else to do.

Teach health, maybe.

[ Honestly, it was way better than living out of a bag and catching the next train if anyone caught wind of him. ]

But uh.

[ Yeah, he is definitely coming back to that first thing. ]

What do you mean, you have to move the moon?

Well, those all sound like plans. [ Not good, not bad -- but directions. She could appreciate the options, the flexibility to have pieces in place if plan A through C fall through. It was nice to have a few safety nets and not need them than to bank on a single thing only to watch it fail. She was all too familiar about having so much faith in plan A that anything alternates were a far off dream.

And yeah, she doesn't blame him for circling back. ]

The stars and planets are literally aligning in enough of a wrong way that if we let everything get into position, the world will end. So... we're working on a way to keep that from happening.

[ She doesn't know about the moon brain yet or having to be up for 5 days straight. ]

But, that's a problem for home me to help figure out a solution to - considering how much this place likes to screw with us. [ She couldn't afford to be distracted with something she could do nothing about here. Unless somehow the harmonic convergence showed up. ]

[ Uh, yeah, that seems like a really difficult thing to do. Not to mention, he doesn't understand why planets aligning would cause an incident - surely planets aligned all the time? Or maybe they needed to be on the same plane, which was much more rare. He wasn't a scientist, so he never really thought much about it.

It confuses him, but he doesn't think she wants to spend her time explaining something he definitely doesn't understand. ]

I always feel like it's the world ending. You gotta do something, or the world ends.

Don't know why it couldn't be don't do something, you've gotta pay an extra five bucks.

[ That's his way of saying sorry about your lot, Julia. And, it sort of puts things in perspective. At least he doesn't have to think about moving any moons. He's pretty sure that's out of his capabilities.

Which just makes him wonder about hers, but no, he's more polite than he is curious. ]

[ She didn't find talking about the components of spellcasting, or really getting in deep about her powers on a not!date. But, he gets it. In the most basic form of everything, that's what it boils down to. That driving feeling that if she didn't do it, someone else might not. So much of what they'd done lately had been dependent on cooperative magic and while they'd made it through the actual spellcasting without her for a while... She hadn't exactly stayed quietly on the sidelines.

Offering a sad smile, she sits in the shared understanding - knowing the choices they both had waiting for them at home weren't going to be easy. ]

On the upside, neither of us will probably be having to deal with this particular world ending anytime soon. Hopefully.

[ She knocks on wood to be safe, trying to always be careful of what she puts out into the universe. ] Even if it feels like it. And we're not alone. [ Speaking of not being alone-- ]

This was nice. Even if not all of the subjects were happy. [ Her tone is light and just a little self-deprecating - making it clear that the comment was meant for herself. She had a tendency to get serious in the lightest of moments. A curse of sorts. ] I enjoyed this. And hopefully, we can do it again sometime.

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